The Naked Troll

Posted on November 5, 2010


Up until this moment, internet trolls have had to hide behind cloak IDs and sharp wits.  If they were to venture from the virtual to the real world, they wouldn’t have a thing to wear.  What’s a digital dude to do?

Now science has found a material that will do for most mere mortals – and trolls – what an “invisibility cloak” did for Harry Potter.

Metamaterials [had] already been developed that [bent] and [channeled] light to render objects invisible at longer wavelengths. [ITN via Yahoo]

Until now, hard surfaces only have been home to  meta-atoms. Now “bettah” than “meta” has come! At the University of St. Andrews, those uncanny Scots “have produced flexible metamaterial ‘membranes’ using a new technique that frees the meta-atoms from the hard surface they are constructed on.”

This is true economic stimulus.  Troll tailor shops will flourish with the result that we will all be stalked in real time and in real space by well-cloaked trolls.  They will no doubt have fun throwing their voices like ventriloquists so that it will look as if the lovely little old lady seated next to you on the bus has just mouthed foulness approaching, well, trollspeak.

The material may liberate internet trolls – make them more than mobile  but we poor mortals will now be subject to constant confusion and attack in the real world.  You may have to assign your mother a real-time password to ensure it is really her with whom you are speaking.