SamHenry’s Low Regard for High Sugar Stale Christmas Cookies

Posted on December 27, 2010

It has begun.  The re-gifting of Christmas cookies.  You can have a sign on your forehead that you are pre-diabetic but this does not deter the determination of a Christmas cookie re-gifter.  No, they want to pass along the feeling of having had too much sugar as quickly as possible.

Whenever you hear someone is going to a large family holiday gathering and that they are busy baking for it, prepare for incoming.  They take cookies to the party, another attendee takes cookies, the hostess HAS cookies and so on.  After the party, the post part ’em effort gets underway.  The  hostess fairly yells in desperation “you all have to take some of these cookies with you, ya hear?

All manner of carrying devices are rounded  up:  That attractive small bag a gift of smelly cosmetics came in that scents the cookies beyond edibility, a flimsy paper  plate barely able to support them or a lovely cookie tin that is a come-on to the unwilling recipient of another cookie division.  If these people could have convinced him, Christ himself would have distributed cookies rather than fishes and loaves.

And we the unlucky recipients of less than fresh cookies by the time they trickle down to us – we cannot handle having them in the house.  When you are on a strict low-carb diet, having the cookies will re-ignite the sugar addiction and set back weight loss immeasurably. I cannot handle a cookie re-gifting.  Dutifully I take them to the trash under the sink.  Half awake that night I fish them out.

I have one neighbor who makes it a function of patriotism for me to accept them.  There are few places to hide when this argument hits.   Just salute, smile and close the door.

These people are well-meaning.  They do want us to have Christmas cookies from them (and several others) and they don’t like to waste food.  They can’t bear to throw them out so they put pressure on you to do it for them.  Have you ever noticed that most of the re-gifters are skinny?  Their own sense of self-preservation enters into the mix.

So because I don’t want my neighbor to be fat or not to adore me, I acquiesce.    It’s a tough job but someone has to do it. It is just another ritual that helps to spell Christmas.